第5話

Jun. 13th, 2017 07:43 pm
chriek: (やらないか)
I've let so many people mess with my head that it's a wonder I haven't forgotten my own name. Even the therapist I went to manipulated me into believing I had misidentified my own trauma and that after leaving Landmark I didn't need to talk about it anymore. But lately I've been remembering that I was a different person before Landmark. No, "remembering" isn't really the word. It's more like I've noticed that I keep repeating that thought that in my head. "I wasn't like this before." And reading the section titled "Hang on to your hats folks, this is a long, sad story from an insider" from here further clinched it for me.

I used to be angry at my father. There was guilt but there was also bitter dislike that I blew up and showed when he provoked me. If you'd told me then that he was a sociopath I probably wouldn't be that surprised - pissed, but not so torn up over it. Because I never doubted myself then. I felt guilty for hating him but angry enough to assert myself against his bullshit. (It's probably why he got on me to do the Forum.)

This has stopped being about him.

This went all over the place and is probably not great reading. )

第4話

Jun. 7th, 2017 05:44 pm
chriek: (...そう。)
The sentence I've been most manipulated by in life has amounted to: "If you really cared about me, you'd ____________."

Well, that's nice. Just box me right into your agenda there.

SO MUCH CAPITALIZATION )

第3話

May. 12th, 2017 09:48 pm
chriek: (えへへ...)
Not sure how much energy I'll have for this entry. A lot is overloading me and I think I've stressed myself into a cold over it. There's a 92% chance I'm going to wake up miserable and flu-like tomorrow. My throat already hurts like a bitch and my voice is going. But there are some thoughts I want to write before bed.

Same topic as previous. )

第2話

May. 7th, 2017 01:53 pm
chriek: (興味ない)
I have nowhere else to put this so fuck it, here we go.

Lengthy personal rant. )

Yeah. I needed this rant.

PS Finally got a tattoo last week. It's peeling and gross at the moment but I feel good that I got it. I want more but that'll have to wait till I have the budget for it since the next piece is going to be bigger and costly/detailed. Not going to talk about what it is till I get it but the one I got already is the heart pirates logo. It was mostly because I needed something small I could test for pain and the design is on the creepier side (i.e. my preference). Tattoos do hurt but more in a flinch-inducing way than an OH MY GOD THE PAIN STOOOOOOOOOOOOP way. Well, I say that but there was a guy getting a tattoo in the same place as me (inner arm) and was wincing up a storm. I felt bad but I laughed. Watching her do my tattoo distracted me from the pain so I didn't have as hard a time with it. Anyway, tattoo ゲット!! so... (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)و

第1話

Feb. 5th, 2017 07:31 pm
chriek: (感じます。)
Gintama's new season so far:

 )

Wow, I've just realised that's a lot of Tatsuma. Also, this fourteen icon thing is going to get old real quick. ( ̄Д ̄;) It's nice having this username again, though.

June 2017

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