第7話

Jul. 6th, 2017 08:08 pm
chriek: (はぁ?)
In other depressing trauma recovery news...

Gaslighting. )

第6話

Jul. 2nd, 2017 08:28 pm
chriek: (おはーーー♡)
I've had a lot of things going through my mind. (Truthfully I wish I could write this in a way that seemed less lame to me. But I have to put it somewhere...)

Eh. )

第5話

Jun. 13th, 2017 07:43 pm
chriek: (やらないか)
I've let so many people mess with my head that it's a wonder I haven't forgotten my own name. Even the therapist I went to manipulated me into believing I had misidentified my own trauma and that after leaving Landmark I didn't need to talk about it anymore. But lately I've been remembering that I was a different person before Landmark. No, "remembering" isn't really the word. It's more like I've noticed that I keep repeating that thought that in my head. "I wasn't like this before." And reading the section titled "Hang on to your hats folks, this is a long, sad story from an insider" from here further clinched it for me.

I used to be angry at my father. There was guilt but there was also bitter dislike that I blew up and showed when he provoked me. If you'd told me then that he was a sociopath I probably wouldn't be that surprised - pissed, but not so torn up over it. Because I never doubted myself then. I felt guilty for hating him but angry enough to assert myself against his bullshit. (It's probably why he got on me to do the Forum.)

This has stopped being about him.

This went all over the place and is probably not great reading. )

第4話

Jun. 7th, 2017 05:44 pm
chriek: (...そう。)
The sentence I've been most manipulated by in life has amounted to: "If you really cared about me, you'd ____________."

Well, that's nice. Just box me right into your agenda there.

SO MUCH CAPITALIZATION )

第3話

May. 12th, 2017 09:48 pm
chriek: (えへへ...)
Not sure how much energy I'll have for this entry. A lot is overloading me and I think I've stressed myself into a cold over it. There's a 92% chance I'm going to wake up miserable and flu-like tomorrow. My throat already hurts like a bitch and my voice is going. But there are some thoughts I want to write before bed.

Same topic as previous. )

July 2017

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